Modern & Youth Issues

Is Dasvandh for the Panth only, or is it for general charity as well. Is Tax paid to the govt considered as Dasvandh?

Dasvandh (lit. 'tenth part') is the practice of contributing one-tenth of one's earning to the Guru's cause. Taking out dasvandh is a religious injunction, and deciding upon its use requires seeking Guru's mandate and acting accordingly. Though not exclusive to Sikhs, but unlike charity, dasvandh is based on the spirit of sharing. The Guru channelized this practice for the holistic welfare of all, especially the downtrodden. Dasvandh is the Guru's share, who has a directive and responsibility of unbiased welfare of humanity.

I hear a lot of different opinions and interpretations of Sikhi. How do I know which is true or not?

When many begin their journey into Sikhi, they have to trudge through all the various controversial issues, divisive interpretations, rehit maryadas etc. However, the learning point for some people is that they should have learnt Gurmukhi and connected with the Shabad Guru right at the very beginning and given their mind the only true support and stable foundation capable of steering this doubtful boat amongst the stormy sea of opinions.

What is the Sikh view of having Girlfriends and Boyfriends relations?

Gurbani says:
เจชเจฐ เจคเฉเจฐเจฟเจ… เจฐเฉ‚เจชเฉ เจจ เจชเฉ‡เจ–เฉˆ เจจเฉ‡เจคเฉเจฐ เฅฅ
"With your eyes, do not even gaze (in a lustful manner) upon the beauty of another."
(Sukhmani Sahib, Ang 274)

Creating such relationships is very immoral and immodest thing to do. Perhaps, we see no shame in these things, it is the age of Kal (darkness) we are standing on one leg.

How do I find my future spouse? I am confused considering we can't have girlfriends.

'ASSISTED MARRIAGE' INSTEAD OF 'LOVE MARRIAGE'
Marriage is a sacred event, it is meant to connect two souls as one and is the paramount relationship in anybodies life. There seems today to be a lack in that sacredness in marriage. The reason for this is that so many people today are getting married for emotional reasons. Any time that you make a momentous decision in life you should not make that decision based on the emotion of it but on the reasonable practical and logical one.

How can I stop flirting? I have a bad habit of talking too much with girls and flirting.

Open your mouth and recite the name of Waheguru. You are bored and need to give your soul more attention. Study the lives of the Guru's and see how they applied themselves. Study Gurbani, kirtan, and sing and enjoy your voice in devotion. Seriously! Then you will put your mouth to the best use and the girls (and everyone else) will be relieved.

Emotional and sexual love is a maya, a trap. Cool it. Reserve it for your spouse and keep your married life sacred and special.

Can I show my love for my girlfirend by us kissing each other? We have no intention for sex. Please help.

----- Kissing & Hugging someone intimately -----

If you wish to kiss your friend's shoes then fine, but nothing else.

Kissing (especially on the lips) creates a bond that is very similar to sex. The first man a woman kisses this way will be in her mind for the rest of her life. That's how the female psyche works. She should only be kissing her husband. If you really love her then you won't do that to her. Kiss her after you are married. If you aren't getting married, why are you messing with someone else's (future) wife?

Can Dasam Granth be installed parallel to Guru Granth Sahib Ji?

A Sikh journalist recently wrote an article which highlighted the rule written in the Panthic Rehat Maryada that no other book is allowed to be installed parallel to Guru Granth Sahib Ji. However, the author of that article justified Dasam Granth being Parkaash (installed) next to Guru Granth Sahib Ji at Takht Sri Hazoor Sahib and Takht Sri Patna Sahib by the fact that a 'Takht' is different to a Gurdwara.

We are not supposed to get "intimate" with the opposite gender. Where do you draw the line?

The issue is about showing respect and not viewing others in a wrong manner. Guru's Rehatnama states:

เจชเจฐ เจฌเฉ‡เจŸเฉ€ เจ•เฉ‹ เจฌเฉ‡เจŸเฉ€ เจœเจพเจจเฉˆ เฅฅ เจชเจฐ เจ‡เจธเจคเจฐเฉ€ เจ•เฉ‹ เจฎเจพเจค เจฌเจ–เจพเจจเฉˆ เฅฅ
เจ…เจชเจจเฉ€ เจ‡เจธเจคเจฐเฉ€ เจธเฉ‹ เจฐเจค เจนเฉ‹เจˆ เฅฅ เจฐเจนเจฟเจคเจตเจพเจจ เจ—เฉเจฐเฉ เจ•เจพ เจธเจฟเฉฐเจ˜ เจธเฉ‹เจˆ เฅฅ
"Consider another's daughter as your daughter. Consider another woman as your mother. Love only your own wife. Such a person is the Guru's disciplined Sikh."

How does a young person find a marriage partner without dating? What is the Gurmat way?

According to Sikh tradition, a boy and girl are introduced to one another or the idea of marriage is facilitated by a middle-person known as "bacholaa" or "match-maker". The match-maker could be a friend, family member, member of local Sangat, or an elder Gursikh. The main thing is that there should be a middle person involved as a mediator.

Why do you have to have a mediator or middle-person?

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