What is the Sikh attitude towards friendship with the opposite gender?

Friendship with the opposite gender is not prohibited. However, to go beyond the lines of innocent friendship would be contrary to Gurmat.

เจชเจฐ เจคเฉเจฐเจฟเจ… เจฐเฉ‚เจชเฉ เจจ เจชเฉ‡เจ–เฉˆ เจจเฉ‡เจคเฉเจฐ เฅฅ
"With your eyes, do not even gaze (in a lustful manner) upon the beauty of another."
(Sukhmani Sahib, Ang 274)

เจฆเฉ‡เจ–เจฟ เจชเจฐเจพเจˆเจ†เจ‚ เจšเฉฐเจ—เฉ€เจ†เจ‚ เจฎเจพเจตเจพเจ‚ เจญเฉˆเจฃเจพเจ‚ เจงเฉ€เจ†เจ‚ เจœเจพเจฃเฉˆ เฅฅ
"Men should look at the opposite gender as mothers, sisters and daughters, (women should look at the opposite gender as fathers, brothers and sons)."
(Bhฤฤซ Gurdฤs: Vฤr 29/ Paurฤซ 11)

Intimate relationships at any level are harmful โ€“ whether it is physical intimacy or emotional one. Intimacy on any level (physical or emotional) should be restricted to one's husband or wife, who are one's committed life partners. If you send texts, emails or chat to someone on MSN or over the phone and you feel embarrassed and ashamed if someone else reads the text, email or heard the conversation, then that tells you that you shouldn't be doing it. One should remember that God is always watching us and therefore live in the fear & love of God.

Gurbani says:

เจจเจฟเจฎเจ– เจ•เจพเจฎ เจธเฉเจ†เจฆ เจ•เจพเจฐเจฃเจฟ เจ•เฉ‹เจŸเจฟ เจฆเจฟเจจเจธ เจฆเฉเจ–เฉ เจชเจพเจตเจนเจฟ เฅฅ
เจ˜เจฐเฉ€ เจฎเฉเจนเจค เจฐเฉฐเจ— เจฎเจพเจฃเจนเจฟ เจซเจฟเจฐเจฟ เจฌเจนเฉเจฐเจฟ เจฌเจนเฉเจฐเจฟ เจชเจ›เฉเจคเจพเจตเจนเจฟ เฅฅเฉงเฅฅ
"For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days. For an instant, you may savour pleasure, but afterwards, you shall regret it, again and again. ||1||"
(Ang 405)

When you form a friendship - be it a friendship with the same gender or a platonic one to a member of the opposite gender (or if youโ€™re married think about the relationship that you have with your spouse). They usually have the same foundation which is you sharing something in common with that person which helps the relationship flourish. It could be having the same lame sense of humour, your passion of eating and burping togetherโ€ฆwhatever - its that โ€˜something in commonโ€™ which lets you form a close relationship.

So if the starting of all three relationships is the same what stops a platonic friendship turning into romance? After all itโ€™s based on the same ingredients โ€“ youโ€™ll grow to admire, depend and trust each other โ€“ something you would also hope to share with your prospective partner. Itโ€™s so easy for it to turn into romance that itโ€™s best not to dwell on it in the first place. Prevention is better than heartache after all.

เจนเฉ‡ เจ•เจพเจฎเฉฐ เจจเจฐเจ• เจฌเจฟเจธเฉเจฐเจพเจฎเฉฐ เจฌเจนเฉ เจœเฉ‹เจจเฉ€ เจญเฉเจฐเจฎเจพเจตเจฃเจน เฅฅ
เจšเจฟเจค เจนเจฐเจฃเฉฐ เจคเฉเจฐเฉˆ เจฒเฉ‹เจ• เจ—เฉฐเจฎเฉเจฏเฉเจฏเฉฐ เจœเจช เจคเจช เจธเฉ€เจฒ เจฌเจฟเจฆเจพเจฐเจฃเจน เฅฅ
เจ…เจฒเจช เจธเฉเจ– เจ…เจตเจฟเจค เจšเฉฐเจšเจฒ เจŠเจš เจจเฉ€เจš เจธเจฎเจพเจตเจฃเจน เฅฅ
เจคเจต เจญเฉˆ เจฌเจฟเจฎเฉเฉฐเจšเจฟเจค เจธเจพเจง เจธเฉฐเจ—เจฎ เจ“เจŸ เจจเจพเจจเจ• เจจเจพเจฐเจพเจ‡เจฃเจน เฅฅเฉชเฉฌเฅฅ
"O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species. You cheat the consciousness, and pervade the three worlds. You destroy meditation, penance and virtue. But you give only shallow pleasure, while you make the mortals weak and unsteady; you pervade the high and the low. Your fear is dispelled in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, O Nanak, through the Protection and Support of the Lord. ||46||"
(Ang 1358)

According to Sikh Rehit Maryada it is a cardinal sin, known as Bajjar Kurehit, to have an physical intimate relationship before marriage.

เจ…เจจเฉฐเจฆ เจฌเจฟเจตเจพเจน เจคเฉ‡ เจญเฉเจ—เจคเฉ‡ เจชเจฐ เจ•เฉ€ เจœเฉ‹เจ‡ เฅฅ เจธเฉเจฃ เจธเจฟเจ–เจพ เจ—เฉเจฐ เจ•เจฟเจน เจฅเฉฑเจ•เฉ‡ เจฎเฉ‡เจฐเจพ เจธเจฟเจ– เจจ เจธเฉ‹เจ‡ เฅฅเฉจเฉซเฅฅ
"Without having Anand Karaj those who have sexual relationships. Listen O' Sikh the Guru states, he is not my Sikh."
(10th Guru - Muktnama)

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