Sikhism101.com FAQ - Modern & Youth Issues


  1. What is the Sikh attitude to dancing and music?
  2. What is the Sikh attitude to divorce?
  3. What is the Sikh attitude to Family-planning?
  4. What is the Sikh attitude to mercy-killing?
  5. What is the Sikh attitude to homosexuality?
  6. What is the Sikh attitude towards masturbation?
  7. What is the Sikh attitude towards friendship with the opposite sex?
  8. What is the Sikh attitude towards organ donation?
  9. What is the Sikh attitude towards abortion?
  10. Why are there so many different Rehats?
  11. What is the future of Sikhism?
  12. What is the Sikh attitude towards Yoga?
  13. What is the advantage of being a 'Sardar' in this world of fashion?
  14. What is the Gurmat perspective on tying one's beard and using gel?
  15. What should a woman do if she disturbed by abnormal and excessive facial hair but wants to live by Gurmat?
  16. What do you know of 'Sanatan Sikh Shastar Vidiya'?
  17. What is the legal standing of Sikhs wearing the Kirpan?
  18. What is the Sikh attitude towards Tattoos?
  19. How can I control my anger?
  20. How does a young person find a marriage partner without dating? What is the Gurmat way?
  21. We are not supposed to get "intimate" with the opposite gender. Where do you draw the line?
  22. Can Dasam Granth be installed parallel to Guru Granth Sahib Ji?
  23. Can I show my love for my girlfirend by us kissing each other? We have no intention for sex. Please help.
  24. I am young, overweight, and feeling depressed about my body. Please help.
  25. How can I stop flirting? I have a bad habit of talking too much with girls and flirting.
  26. How do I find my future spouse? I am confused considering we can't have girlfriends.
What is the Sikh attitude to dancing and music?

Dancing is a mode of entertainment in western countries. Sikhi applies the general test mentioned in Gurbani to any entertainment, namely:

"Avoid that which causes pain or harm to the body or produces evil thoughts in the mind."
(Ang 16)

What is the Sikh attitude to divorce?

Sikhism favour family life and monogamy.

ਏਕਾ ਨਾਰੀ ਜਤੀ ਹੋਇ ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ਧੀ ਭੈਣ ਵਖਾਣੈ ॥
"Be faithful to your 'one wife', see others as your daughters and sisters, (for women you must be faithful to one husband and see others as your sons and brothers)"
(Bhai Gurdaas Ji, Vaar 6: Pauri 8)

What is the Sikh attitude to Family-planning?

In olden times, the problem of family-planning did not exist. Even today in areas where population is scanty and resources adequate, family-planning is not necessary. This does not mean that excessive indulgence in sex becomes desirable.

Gurbani advises to live in "Sehaj" - a balanced and intuitively poised lifestyle. Sehaj is advised with everything in life, whether it be food, sex, sleeping or work. Gurbani tells us to avoid over-indulgence in anything worldly or physical pleasures.

What is the Sikh attitude to mercy-killing?

Today there is a lot of pressure on politicians to legalize mercy-killing. In certain countries, mercy killing of patients suffering from incurable diseases or terminal illness has been regulated by law. It is left either to the discretion of the physician or the patient. Recently a new Society named "EXIT" has been started in Great Britain, which supports the right of the individual to die with dignity and its literature contains some instructions for those who desire a painless suicide.

What is the Sikh attitude to homosexuality?

Sexuality in Sikhi relates to the marriage of a man and woman and the sacredness of their singular physical relationship. It is a means to creating a future of children that can live in elevation and mastery. When speaking of homosexuality and even bisexuality, the implication is that the relationship is based on sex. The Sikh way of life is a system of living for achieving harmony of the mind, body and spirit and living in God consciousness. If you are focusing heavily on the physical aspects of your relationships, then you are already out of balance.

What is the Sikh attitude towards masturbation?

Lust or uncontrolled sexual desire is one of the five evils that Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji warns us about time and time again. Masturbation, also referred to as Self-Sex, involves lustful thoughts that inspires or encourages more sexual thoughts and acts, and is therefore not appropriate for a Sikh to engage in. This is mostly seen in adolescence period as they want to satisfy their sexual needs. It is for self pleasure (sexual pleasure using with own or others hands or objects).

What is the Sikh attitude towards friendship with the opposite sex?

Friendship with the opposite sex is not prohibited. However, to go beyond the lines of innocent friendship would be contrary to Gurmat.

ਦੇਖਿ ਪਰਾਈਆਂ ਚੰਗੀਆਂ ਮਾਵਾਂ ਭੈਣਾਂ ਧੀਆਂ ਜਾਣੈ ॥
"Men should look at the opposite gender as mothers, sisters and daughters, (women should look at the opposite gender as fathers, brothers and sons)."
(Bhāī Gurdās: Vār 29/ Paurī 11)

What is the Sikh attitude towards organ donation?

Sikh philosophy and belief place a great deal of importance on generosity and putting others before oneself. Sikhism also stresses noble deeds, and one would be hard-pressed to identify a more noble act than organ donation.

Sikhs generally accept brain death as an indication of the departure of life from a body. The body is the shell and home for the soul. When the soul departs from the body, the body is useless.

ਜੇ ਮਿਰਤਕ ਕਉ ਚੰਦਨੁ ਚੜਾਵੈ ॥ ਉਸ ਤੇ ਕਹਹੁ ਕਵਨ ਫਲ ਪਾਵੈ ॥

What is the Sikh attitude towards abortion?

Abortion is a taboo. Deliberate miscarriage and abortion is forbidden.

There is a misconception amongst some Sikhs that the soul enters the body on 120th day. This belief is not supported by Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. According to Gurbani the soul dwells in the mother's womb for 10 (Indian) months.

ਬਿੰਦੁ ਤੇ ਜਿਨਿ ਪਿੰਡੁ ਕੀਆ ਅਗਨਿ ਕੁੰਡ ਰਹਾਇਆ ॥
ਦਸ ਮਾਸ ਮਾਤਾ ਉਦਰਿ ਰਾਖਿਆ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਲਾਗੀ ਮਾਇਆ ॥੧॥

Why are there so many different Rehats?

(i) The Guru gave one Amrit and one Maryada, then why are there so many Rehat Maryadas (Codes of Conducts) today?

What is the future of Sikhism?

The Sikhs in glorious past have had long periods of persecution and suffering. Their faith in the Gurus and God, and an awareness of the need for voluntary community service made them face cheerfully, many ordeals. The 18th century witnessed the genocide of the Sikhs, particularly at the two holocausts of 1746 and 1762 called Chotta Ghallughara and Wadda Ghallughara respectively, from which the Sikhs rose like phoenix from the ashes. Their martyrdom has inspired successive generations of Sikhs to the cause of the Panth and their belief in Chardi Kala, Dynamic optimism.

What is the Sikh attitude towards Yoga?

The Sikh Gurus did not condemn Yoga. But, Yoga cannot be counted as a required ingredient in what makes a Sikh. Anyone who disputes this should first examine the history of the Ten Masters, or study Gurbani, like:

ਪਾਠੁ ਪੜਿਓ ਅਰੁ ਬੇਦੁ ਬੀਚਾਰਿਓ ਨਿਵਲਿ ਭੁਅੰਗਮ ਸਾਧੇ ॥
ਪੰਚ ਜਨਾ ਸਿਉ ਸੰਗੁ ਨ ਛੁਟਕਿਓ ਅਧਿਕ ਅਹੰਬੁਧਿ ਬਾਧੇ ॥੧॥

What is the advantage of being a 'Sardar' in this world of fashion?

What is beauty and what is fashion? It is all subjective.

A Sikh does not submit to any power or fashion. A Sikh submits and pleases only Akaal Purakh.

A pig has many children and walks around cities and villages but finds no respect or dignity. However, a lion, although alone and might only have one child, wherever it roams it leaves his presence and shows that he is the king of the jungle.

What is the Gurmat perspective on tying one's beard and using gel?

Tying the beard is not a Sikh tradition. The fact that a lot of Sikhs tie beard or that a lot of Sikhs in the past have been tying their beard does not make tying beard a Gurmat Asool (principle). Just because the majority does it does not mean that it is acceptable to Guru Sahib.

What should a woman do if she disturbed by abnormal and excessive facial hair but wants to live by Gurmat?

According to the Sikh Rehat Maryada it is a cardinal prohibition to dishonour the hair (anywhere on the body, from the head to toe). Someone who has taken Amrit and commits the act of dishonouring the hair (cutting, waxing, plucking, bleaching, dyeing etc) is no longer considered a Sikh and becomes an apostate, and if he or she seek forgiveness then they must present themselves in front of the Panj Pyaaray and re-take Amrit.

What do you know of 'Sanatan Sikh Shastar Vidiya'?

'Sanatanism' (pronounced "Sa-naa-tan") or 'Sanatan Sikhi' is a perspective on the Sikh faith and people which in recent years has been propagated in the UK by Nang (fake imposter 'Nihung Singh') Nidar Singh, a martial arts teacher who calls himself a 'Sanatan Sikh Shastar Vidiya Gurdev', and his young influenced followers. Sanatan, literally means 'traditional'.

What is the legal standing of Sikhs wearing the Kirpan?

The Kirpan (IPA: [kɪrˈpɑn]) (Punjabi: ਕਿਰਪਾਨ kirpān) is a religious sword worn in a strap that enables a it to be suspended near one's waist or tucked inside one's belt. It must be worn by all initiated Sikhs (Khālsā), after a mandatory religious commandment given by Guru Gobind Singh Ji (the tenth Sikh Guru) in 1699 CE. The Kirpan is part of the Five Ks uniform that all initiated Sikhs must adhere to.

What is the Sikh attitude towards Tattoos?

All Sikhs get Tattoo imprinted at least once a lifetime. Once this Tattoo is imprinted or encarved, then it never leaves us. Yes, you read it right. All Sikhs must have the Tattoo of Naam imprinted on their Mann.

This Tattoo of Naam is not a dead Tattoo picture as ordinary Tattoos are. This Tattoo is very much alive and vibrates Naam vibes through our body and pure actions. Once this Tattoo is imprinted on our mind, only then we can japp Naam and have anand (bliss) of Naam.

How can I control my anger?

Anger is a normal reaction when we have been insulted, hurt or treated unfairly. By learning to control our anger we can use it to play a positive role in our lives.

KEEPING YOUR COOL!

How does a young person find a marriage partner without dating? What is the Gurmat way?

According to Sikh tradition, a boy and girl are introduced to one another or the idea of marriage is facilitated by a middle-person known as "bacholaa" or "match-maker". The match-maker could be a friend, family member, member of local Sangat, or an elder Gursikh. The main thing is that there should be a middle person involved as a mediator.

Why do you have to have a mediator or middle-person?

We are not supposed to get "intimate" with the opposite gender. Where do you draw the line?

The issue is about showing respect and not viewing others in a wrong manner. Guru's Rehatnama states:

ਪਰ ਬੇਟੀ ਕੋ ਬੇਟੀ ਜਾਨੈ ॥ ਪਰ ਇਸਤਰੀ ਕੋ ਮਾਤ ਬਖਾਨੈ ॥
ਅਪਨੀ ਇਸਤਰੀ ਸੋ ਰਤ ਹੋਈ ॥ ਰਹਿਤਵਾਨ ਗੁਰੁ ਕਾ ਸਿੰਘ ਸੋਈ ॥
"Consider another's daughter as your daughter. Consider another woman as your mother. Love only your own wife. Such a person is the Guru's disciplined Sikh."

Can Dasam Granth be installed parallel to Guru Granth Sahib Ji?

A Sikh journalist recently wrote an article which highlighted the rule written in the Panthic Rehat Maryada that no other book is allowed to be installed parallel to Guru Granth Sahib Ji. However, the author of that article justified Dasam Granth being Parkaash (installed) next to Guru Granth Sahib Ji at Takht Sri Hazoor Sahib and Takht Sri Patna Sahib by the fact that a 'Takht' is different to a Gurdwara.

Can I show my love for my girlfirend by us kissing each other? We have no intention for sex. Please help.

----- Kissing & Hugging someone intimately -----

If you wish to kiss your friend's shoes then fine, but nothing else.

Kissing (especially on the lips) creates a bond that is very similar to sex. The first man a woman kisses this way will be in her mind for the rest of her life. That's how the female psyche works. She should only be kissing her husband. If you really love her then you won't do that to her. Kiss her after you are married. If you aren't getting married, why are you messing with someone else's (future) wife?

I am young, overweight, and feeling depressed about my body. Please help.

EATING PLAN & EXERCISE

How can I stop flirting? I have a bad habit of talking too much with girls and flirting.

Open your mouth and recite the name of Waheguru. You are bored and need to give your soul more attention. Study the lives of the Guru's and see how they applied themselves. Study Gurbani, kirtan, and sing and enjoy your voice in devotion. Seriously! Then you will put your mouth to the best use and the girls (and everyone else) will be relieved.

Emotional and sexual love is a maya, a trap. Cool it. Reserve it for your spouse and keep your married life sacred and special.

How do I find my future spouse? I am confused considering we can't have girlfriends.

'ASSISTED MARRIAGE' INSTEAD OF 'LOVE MARRIAGE'
Marriage is a sacred event, it is meant to connect two souls as one and is the paramount relationship in anybodies life. There seems today to be a lack in that sacredness in marriage. The reason for this is that so many people today are getting married for emotional reasons. Any time that you make a momentous decision in life you should not make that decision based on the emotion of it but on the reasonable practical and logical one.

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